Okay so, as far as having sex goes, I agree that “no means no’.
So what about seduction? Seduction implies the overcoming of resistance, manipulating a No to a Yes.
So where does this leave a romantic dinner with “a couple glasses of wine”?
First of all, we start off with the narrative that power relationships in society are always unequal. That means that any person could feel afraid to say no.
Add to this recent legal opinions that if you are aware that the person had diminished capacity at the time of saying Yes, Yes retroactively becomes No, and therefore the activity becomes a crime.
I would guess that means that you cannot have sex with someone who has been using alcohol or drugs, particularly if you supplied them. This would include spouses.
(This concept could also be extended to “make-up” sex and comfort sex because one of the couple is distraught and therefore experiencing diminished capacity.)
Given all this, when does Yes become Yes?
I can’t say that I have the answer. I do think we need to have that conversation.
Let’s Have That Conversation:
A posting from Kevin McGill’s The Possible Ks
Canadian Satire, Poetry, Social Justice Commentary & Inspiration
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